March 27, 2015- Worked on getting all other info needed for the adoption agency scanned and emailed. This included birth certificates, marriage license, 2013 taxes, and letters from Drs. offices saying we are in good health as of our last physicals. We also had to get in contact with our social worker so that the agency could get all of our home study clearances. Our social worker also had to write a letter to the agency that she will be working with us for our post placement meeting after the adoption is finalized.
April 10, 2015- We received some of our birth moms medical records but nothing related to the 20 week sonogram. Hopefully we will know more about how everything is going with the pregnancy soon. Our agency called and said that our birth mom was supposed to have an appt. today but she had to miss it due to a family emergency. She did however tell me that she had good news in that the papers were delivered and already back from the biological dad saying that he agreed to an adoption and wanted no part in the babies life. He still has just as long as our birth mom to change his mind but at least so far he is saying he is good with signing his parental rights away.
April 14, 2015-bought out plane tickets to go meet our birth mom and her daughter. Eeeek!
April 17, 2015- had a mock birth mom talk with a lady that gave her baby up for a daughter last year. It was nice hearing what she had to say about her experience and knowing in the end it truly was the right decision.
April 20, 2015- spoke with the adoption consultant about our travels to meet our birth mom. Discussed things like never answer any questions about how much this is costing us or how much we make and that we should probably never bring up anything related to her ex, which is her daughters dad, or this baby's dad.
April 23, 2015- Met with Max's pediatrician today to tell him about the adoption. We asked him about what he would like us to do once the baby is born and also to ask him if he will help me again with inducing lactation so that I can breastfeed this baby as well. We will most likely do things, for the most part, exactly the same as we did with Max in terms of getting all medical records and then following up with pediatrician as soon as we arrive home. I don't know what I am going to do about the breastfeeding though. I really want to do it again, but I won't be able to use domperidone like I did to induce it for Max. The FDA officially banned it for who really knows why. I am going to go with the formula makers paid them off because they know it works so well and they'd rather have you buy formula. I have that about buying it from China or India, but not sure how much I can trust that. I could take Reglan but that can have horrible long term side effects. My milk still seems to be here a tiny bit, so I am thinking of doing some good old fashion hand expressing, making lactation cookies, and whatever else I can do to get it to come back more and more on its own. I honestly think that since I never had issues in the past with my milk coming in that once the baby is here it'll just pick up on its own.
April 27, 2015- Spoke with adoption agency about birth moms recent Dr appt. Things are still good there. Also discussed our coming visit.
May 7, 2015- Got on our flight to meet our birth mom. So nervous and afraid I would saw the wrong thing.
May 8, 2015- Spent the day with our birth mom, her mom, her daughter, and lady from the adoption agency. We started with lunch but didn't get to talk too much since the kids were bouncing all over the place. After lunch we headed to an indoor park so the kids could play and we could have time to chat. They did ask if we had the nursery set up yet. We felt kind of bad because we don't really. Max is still in there and the baby will most likely sleep in our room for quite a few months. Then, I think we need to decide when Max is going to a toddler bed so baby can have the crib. The adoption lady asked our birth mom if she was planning to name the baby first or not. She has the choice of giving her a name for the birth certificate, just have the birth certificate say baby girl, or give the baby our name right off the bat. Our birth mom said she didn't want to leave it just as baby girl but also didn't want to name the baby herself because she is afraid of growing more of an attachment. She did ask us what names we were considering, which her and her mom said they liked them all, and said that she would prefer to give the baby our name. I loved that she said that "after all the baby is ours". We briefly talked about a birth plan. She isn't too sure how she wants to go about it yet. She did say though that she didn't want her mom in the room. At her next Ob appt the adoption lady wants to go along so that they can start to discuss with the Dr the possibility of doing an induction so that we can try to have a plan. We also told her that I am hoping to breastfeed, like I did with Max, and she seemed like she really liked that, especially to help with the bonding. I wish I would've asked her more questions but wasn't really to sure on what all too ask about. I asked her if she had any specific questions for us but she said "no" and that we did such a good job on our profile book that she felt she knew us so well already. She also said that now after meeting us she feels even more confident that she did make the right decision.
May 9-11, 2015. Spent the day weekend with a friend who lived in the area who also lost a baby and then when on to adopt. She is actually the one who referred me to the consulting agency we went through. From her I ended up learning about this thing called ICPE, which I didn't know a thing about. I ended up asking our adoption lady and she briefly went over it with me. Pretty much it sounds like once the baby is born and the paperwork is signed it has to get sent to the state, then get sent to my state so that they are aware we are bringing this adopted baby into it, then sent back to her state all before we can go. I guess this can take up to a week. We also can't leave the state with that baby at any point with the baby until this is all finished, which is kind of a bummer since my friend literally lives right on the border of the state, but on the other side. I guess that means we will be staying there for at least a week before we can go home with her.
For now I am just happy things are going well and that she still seems really happy with her decision to let us adopt her baby. Saturday marks 28 weeks which puts us in the 3rd trimester and less than 3 months to go!
Oh my gosh! I'm so excited! This is wonderful news and sounds like everything is going smoothly. Let's hope it stays that way.
ReplyDeleteI think you'll have no problem getting your milk up again. Can you start pumping? What about taking Reglan infrequently? Boost things up with fenugreek smoothies and lactation cookies every morning? You were such a great milk producer before, so I sure hope you're able to do this once more. :)
I will for sure be doing the lactation cookies and probably the fenugreek, but will do it as the tincture, i think that's what's it's called, since it's supposed to be more effective that route. I'll start pumping once I get a bit more from hand expressing, it seemed to be easiest and more effective than pumping in the beginning last time. I have considered the Reglan just for a few weeks to get things going and then stopping well before the baby is, but not sure yet.
DeleteThanks for the update. Great news! Glad to hear things are going well for you.
ReplyDeleteWow wow wow! This is all really great news! I am so cautiously hopeful and optimistic. I'm glad your meeting with the birth mother went well-that is so huge! We're keeping positive thoughts. xoxo
ReplyDeleteI'm so thrilled to read this update!! August will be here soon!
ReplyDeleteIs it not possible to get domperidone from a compounding pharmacy? I had a local compounding pharmacy make Dr. Jack Newman's all purpose nipple ointment for me when Luke was a newborn, and I spoke with the pharmacist about my supply troubles. She offered to make domperidone for me, but fenugreek worked for me if I took it everyday...so I stuck with the fenugreek instead.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the lactation consultant at my work told me I could order domperidone from Canada. Never looked into it though.
I'll write more about this on the next blog post butthe FDA actually banned domperidone in the US from compounding pharmacies making it because Canada actually found a problem with it. Cardiac issues or something. I got it from a compounding pharmacy last time with Max, but when I called multiple different ones this time no one would make it for fear of a huge fine. I did find one someone told me about on this adoptive breastfeeding page but now my pediatrician doesn't want to write an rx because he just doesn't trust it like he did last time when he wrote me the rx. Honestly i bet that pharmacy will be stopping real soon. I can't believe they are still making it if there is a risk of a huge fine. I even called multiple pharmacies in Canada and most of them said they won't sell it anymore and the one that did say they would can't legally ship it to the US because they have to follow the US FDA guidelines. I did hear of a few places over seas but the one place that seems trustworthy I still need a rx for and the rest I think just seem sketchy. Just me. I've looked everywhere and done my research. I maybe could see if I could find another Dr to write a rx but I don't know. I may just try the all natural route and hope it works. I've got 2 months so here's hoping.
Deletepraying that things continue to go smoothly
ReplyDeleteI am south African and am currently breastfeeding my second rainbow with the help of espiride, a generic of eglonyl. The active ingredient is sulphiride 50 mg and one can take up to 3 pills a day. It's actually a tranquilizer but needs to be taken in higher doses than what is typically prescribed for breastfeeding if one wants it to be effective as a tranquilizer. Maybe you can get this product in the US? Wishing you all the best with the adoption of your daughter and remembering Liam and Evelynn too. Xxx Colette
ReplyDeleteI had my 2 boys via a gestational surrogate and i induced both times as well. I got my dom from inhousepharmacy.vu I have not had any problems getting it and it's pretty affordable. Maybe look into that as your option? Best of luck! FYI I ordered last in I think 10/2014 so fairly recently
ReplyDeleteOhhhhh wow. I'd been wanting more details about the meeting with the birth mom! So many things she said that sound like she's solid in her plan and that you can be optimistic that all will go well. "After all the baby is yours" -whoa. My heart still jumped into my throat at the not wanting to name her for fear she'll bond too much (specifically the worrying that she'll bond too much), but man it seems she knows herself and is setting good boundaries. It's great that they like the names you're considering!
ReplyDeleteOk, I gotta say. How has your social worker not talked to you about ICPC yet?! Good gravy, seems like an important piece to prepare you for, that you may need to stay in the state for a week or more for those forms to be completed! I mean, really. As we near going active with our nationwide agency I wonder what we'll do if/when the time comes - take Cate? Have Brad stay here with her? What if it's two weeks or more and how will that work with his job? I mean, obviously you/we work it out, but still. There's some planning ahead involved! So…when do you think you'll come down? Guessing it depends on whether she's induced or not. What a completely exciting time. I'm so glad it went well with you guys.
Cannot WAIT to hear more as you go!