Our Carrier is Pregnant- 8 Weeks/2 Months

February 4, 2013- up to 694

February 8, 2013- up to 3153

February 12, 2013- up to 9428, followed by our first pregnancy scare. Jessica texted me early this Tuesday morning to let me know that she had some spotting. I know some bleeding in early pregnancy is fine, but it made me  super nervous. Our first u/s wasn't supposed to be until the 14th, but had one that day to see what was going on. Apparently it is a subchorionic hemorrhage. I was told not to worry and that this is quite common, but how could you not with a name like that, and this is me we're talking about. We weren't quite 6 weeks at the time of this u/s, but surprinsgly they were already able to see the flickering little heartbeat. That made for one happy, reassured for the moment, momma.

February 21, 2013- Jessica had her ob dr. do a quick u/s just to make sure their was still a heartbeat. It is great having a carrier who is both a nurse and works for her Ob dr. Still a heartbeat, whew! I hate waiting and we still aren't far enough long for her to use my doppler, which I just mailed to her yesterday. I can't wait until she can start using it, but that won't be until the end of the first trimester.

February 27, 2013- Today we are 8 weeks or 2 months pregnant. I am nervous to say the least. I live in fear everyday of getting that text or call from Jessica that we lost the baby. It has only been about a month since we've been back home and getting back into our normal routine of things. Although I wouldn't say anything about being back home has been normal. To get through the days lately I have dived into all things pinterest and getting back into shape. I may already be doing some premature nesting as well, which I suppose is a good, positive thing. I am pretty sure Dereck is sick of hearing about pinterest. I have been making a bunch of the recipes, no that he complains about the cooking. I love all of the ideas Pinterest has given me for our house. We may just have a completely remodeled house by the time the baby comes. I would even go as far as to say the reason I haven't been on my blog much has more to do with me being so preoccupied with projects than anything else, but it keeps my mind busy, which is what I need.

I have been stressing about money a lot lately as well. These pinterest projects are great, especially all the ideas on remodeling my house, but sadly they all cost money. I hate to complain about money, but I sure do hate that having a baby has costed us so much, and it seems like the bills are never ending. The money that was raised in the fundraiser is long gone. I am glad we had it though because it really helped us get through the last couple months. I have added up the totals we have spent so far and have now spent over $27,000 on this process, and it isn't over yet. If this all works out I don't care how much money we spent and how broke we will be for the next how many years, but what worries me is what we would do if this baby doesn't make it. Could we even afford to do this again, especially since we didn't get lucky enough to have extra embryos in the freezer. I hate thinking about this, but it's hard not to when so many make it look so easy to have a baby- no IVF, easy pregnancy, no c-section or other fancy surgery, no funerals, no worries.

But Jessica is still great. I couldn't have asked for a better person/friend to do this for us.

Now to just get through the next, oh what do we have, 32 weeks until the due date.