Friday, November 18, 2011

14 Weeks

We made it to the second trimester, and with no red flags!

Yesterday I had a check up with my Ob Dr. She used the Doppler and it was nice to hear that sound again, although I have used mine about 3 times this past week because I have been nervous for those results. I was able to discuss the results more with my Dr. since like I said I had spoke to the nurse about them the other day but couldn't really ask any questions about them. My Dr. said that yes the blood work showed that I am not considered high risk, which I guess is classified by if your results come back with you having anything under a 1 in 50 chance. Remember Liam was 1 in 30 for a NTD, so I guess knowing I am not in that high risk category is a good feeling. She wants me to now do the step 2 blood work to go along with the first blood work and those results combined will tell me more info of where I stand with everything. I think that test is called the Quad screen, not sure, I swear I get everything so confused about all of these tests because I am so concerned about things coming back good that I hear nothing else. Anyways, I will be getting that done in a week and half.

My Dr. also brought up the possibility of me just skipping my anatomy scan at there clinic and going straight to a Perinatologist. I am guessing she suggested this being that it is a level two u/s that will not only show more about my baby but hopefully will also leave me with a little more peace of mind that things are okay. Or I guess if things weren't okay I would no for sure what, and to what extent, right away. 

Next regular Ob appt. and u/s is in 4 weeks. That seems so far away. That will also be my last appt. with my awesome Ob Dr. for awhile. She informed that she will be gone for a couple of months starting at the end of December. Freaking out about this a little. I love this Dr. She has been there for me through everything with Liam. I know its only a few months and she would be back for my delivery, but who do I see in the meantime that will be as caring and understanding about my craziness has her? Not quite sure how I am gonna handle that one yet.

How badly I wanted you to be healthy and bring you home. Was it all because of the extra folic acid I've been taking, is that why this new baby is not in the high risk category that you were placed in? I have been so emotional this past week, which I know is in part because of wanting these results to be good, but also because I have been feeling guilty in how I feel about them in regards to you. There has been this part of me that has defined this new babies life by what these results were going to tell me. I hate that. I feel like every time I share my fears about getting bad news again that I am making it sound like once I got those results my life and pregnancy with you went downhill from there. That so isn't true little buddy. I was sad, super upset even, about the results but I still loved you and wanted to do everything I could to help you have the best life possible. I hope you understand that.
I just love you and miss you so much.
Love, Mom


  1. congrats on making it to the 2nd tri. i understand that feeling of thankfulness, and relief (though the relief doesn't stick around too long because there's always more to worry about). i'm praying that you continue to receive more good news until you get to hold your precious one in your arms. ((hugs))

  2. Yeah! Second Trimester thats great! I know you have alot of mixed and confliction emotions, preganancy after loss is not easy. I am not even pregnant yet I even feel guilty for wanting to get pregnant. You are a great Mommy to Liam and always will be and you will be a great Mommy to his sibling too. xo

  3. Don't feel guilty about Liam, he knows your heart and he knows you would have done (and did) everything you could to keep him.

    Glad your testing has come back well so far. :)

  4. Congratulations on making it to the second trimester!! I know you'll be relieved to get past the anatomy scan/level 2 u/s, too. I hope these next 4 weeks will fly by for you! It helps having that doppler when you have those 4 weeks in between doctors appointments...well, for me, it helped. Praying you continue to get good news in the appointments to come!

  5. Wonderful news... great to have your results confirmed :) I get so confused about all the different tests too. Fantastic to be in T2... time will hopefully start to fly past from now on :)) xoxo

  6. Hi Becky, am sure nothing you did had hurt Liam. But why do you think taking extra folic acid is bad? Did you read that somewhere?

    Liam is a sweet boy and he will be with his momma always. The new baby is certainly his blessing. Much love to you.

  7. Oh okay, I got it now.

    I know it's hard to not blame ourselves. I blame myself all the time too because in my case, I know deep down that if I hadn't gone to the country the day my water broke, there was some chance things would be different :(

    But in your case, I can definitely tell ( from an outsider's perspective) that you did nothing wrong. So pls don't blame yourself. Hugs .


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