I am also incredibly tired of all the pregnancies lately as well. It's not like any of this is new to me, but holy crap, is everyone pregnant or just had a baby. I swear I can count at least 10 people that I know IRL and I am sure their are many more that I just don't know about yet, but soon will. I know that we are technically among the pregnant ones, but it doesn't take away from the fact that I hate what I keep missing out on. Over two years now of just feeling like my life is on repeat and almost 5 years now of seeing everyone get what I want so badly. I find myself on so many of my low days cursing to myself under my breath. I truly don't won't others to feel my pain and yet at the same time I think I just wish that this would happen to someone else I know so I didn't have to feel like this huge freak. That's just me feeling sorry for myself though.
I can't wait until we are in Hawaii and can get some warmth and sunshine, but god does it suck that thoughts of knowing my time with my daughter was over and having a funeral for her were will be on my mind.
I guess I'll just end this here. I guess I don't have much to say and now the tears are starting to flow. And of course some more quotes from Pinterest because I love them and they really do say it better than what I can.
I love you Liam and Evelynn
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| Love you forever my baby girl:) |
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| A friend went into Babies 'R' Us yesterday and said she saw these with my babies names on them and already next to each other on the shelf. |
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| For you my little buddy. I miss you:) |
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| Isn't this the truth:( |
I don't know how this is possible either- I remember hating the eve of Jack's birthday the first time around, and here you are doing it for a second time. I hate this. I hate the letting go of what should have been. I hate that you're missing your babies.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you guys so much.
xox
I am dreading this time for you as well. To be living a groundhog year of sorts is all too much for someone to handle. I wish this happened to someone else. Someone who didn't already lose a baby.
ReplyDeleteWhile I'm thrilled that you're technically part of the pregnant club, you had been part of that club twice before and yet you're perpetually there. I really wish Evelynn were here to soften the blow and be full of snuggles. I'm sorry. I'm anxiously awaiting time in warm Hawaii for you guys.
It's so hard to think about this time last year. April was so exciting waiting for Evelynn and getting ready for you two to "help me study" at the cabin. As usual, I don't know what to say. I wish she were here.
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard to think about this time last year. April was so exciting waiting for Evelynn and getting ready for you two to "help me study" at the cabin. As usual, I don't know what to say. I wish she were here.
ReplyDeleteLove that you got the Bear. Wish you had your baby girl instead. Missing them both with you.
ReplyDeletei understand. and i'm so sorry. know that you and your babies are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. holding you close to my heart as the 12 month mark draws closer.
ReplyDeleteWill be releasing a PINK balloon for Evelynn between the 22nd and 24th. Since I don't have any request from you or email to send the pictures to, I will post them on my website:
ReplyDeletehttp://wwwfittsiesangelbabybirthdayballoons.blogspot.com. You can also google Fittsie's Balloons to see it. My son died inside of me on April 25th and was stillborn to the world on May 2nd so I am in that rough "before it comes" stage. Hugs to you. I enjoy your blog and can't wait for you to get your baby here.
Thinking of you as I read your blog posts. I will release a pink balloon for your precious Evelynn on the beach between the 22nd and 24th.
ReplyDelete