Last Saturday on August 18, 2012 Dereck and I went to the Walk to Remember. We went last year and now again this year. This year should've been so different, as with everything that should be, but isn't. I wish my daughter could've been there, walking with me, and crying with me as we remember Liam. This year we wrote messages on balloons for both our babies. Last year was hard, and this year even harder. I still find myself struggling to not be jealous of others, who are obviously there because they also have experienced child loss, but just hate that many of them all have at least one child with them, whereas I still don't. I started crying from the point we showed up at the hospital. I was crying so much that I could barely write on my balloons because they were getting so wet with tears. I cried while writing a message in the book to be read to our loved babies. Bawled my eyes out as the messages were read and as we released our balloons. I love you my babies.