So I guess I lied about the next post being on a happier note and about the fundraiser.
I don't even know where to begin or if I should even classify this as a gestational carrier post update or what. After I unloaded everything in one big blog post last night, I thought today would be a better today. Ha! It started at about 8am and it hasn't gotten any better. I'll get right to it.
Yesterday I wrote that I was annoyed with my fertility clinic. Well today I am outright pissed off. Maybe I am overreacting, I tend to do that, but maybe I am not. I chose this clinic for 2 main reasons. One being the fact they had a satellite clinic in Alaska in which I could go to and get all of my stuff done at versus going down there for everything. Two being that not having to travel back and forth to MN so much would save us money on expensive plane tickets and from missing work. The down fall to this clinic we thought at the time was that we had to wait over 6 months to do our egg retrieval, which is turning into 9+ months now.
We first met with this clinic back in May. They new I was pumping my daughters breast milk. They said it was fine as long as I quit a few months prior to starting the fertility meds. The last time I pumped was in September. I get a call today and apparently it is an issue now. Tomorrow morning I have to go into my ob lab and get a fasting prolactin test done. Depending on what it says I am may not be able to do the egg retrieval in January anymore. If we can't do this in January I am going to freak the fuck out.
A few other things were brought to my attention as well today. I am not even going to get into it but fuck, fuck fuck! I called my Ob Dr. crying after hearing this lovely news. I told her how upset I was with this clinic because all these things keep coming up that I feel should've been taken care of months ago, not a month before we should be starting the IVF process. I also explained to her about the breast milk/prolactin issue. I understand that there isn't much I can do until I get the results of that test back, but I hope to god these results are in my favor. Dereck is as annoyed as I am and is to the point that if we can't do January he wants to switch to the clinic we were originally going to use.
I don't want to wait any longer. I just want to do everything in January. I want a good egg retrieval, I want to transfer 2 embryos, I want an easy twin pregnancy with Jessica, and I want two living healthy babies in the end. And yes I want 2 embryos transferred and will do as much as I can to convince the RE we need to do this. Is that asking too much. Is it?
Oh and listen to this. I chatted with a girl today who has her carrier pregnant with twins right now. They went through the fertility clinic we were originally going to use. She told me that they were originally referred to the one I am going to but decided to switch clinics because they thought that RE was a dick. Fucking perfect! Just what I wanted to hear! Damn it, damn it, damn it! We actually thought he seemed really nice and my Ob thinks he's a great guy as well. Everybody's got there own opinions I guess, but hearing that today did not help.
I am sure everything will be fine and I am just overreacting, but what if its not. Why do I feel like I wish I would've never done the pumping now? Would that mean that once again I made a stupid decision when it comes to us trying to have a baby?
On a better note, I still think Jessica is amazing. I just hope that no matter what happens she will still want to work with us.
We technically are still moving forward. Hopefully I will have good news to share soon.