For the Love of baby Liam

FML! That is how I feel right now, this month, this year. Why can't things just go my way, why, why, why? I went to my Ob appt today to check on my follicles and set a day for my HCG injection and IUI. The appt was horrible and I left in tears. So much crying, I can take it anymore. My Dr. took a  look at my follicles and they just decided they weren't going to grow again, even smaller and slower than last month. By now they should be almost double the size they are, but they are not. My Dr. said that there is no point in doing anything this cycle, no inj. and no IUI, because if the follicles do end up growing more in the next week to be big enough for a mature egg there will not be enough time for implantation before my period would begin. She told me and Dereck to just go home and have sex as much as when can and maybe we will get lucky on our own. She said she doesn't want to say there is absolutely no chance we could get pregnant, but that the chance is very, very small. I am so pissed.
I know it is only our second month trying but getting told your ovaries are barely responding to the Clomid sucks. Ovaries why can't you just ovulate like a normal person and do your fricken job? What a fricken waste of all the money we just spent on u/s when we can't even proceed with the IUI. She said that next time she will double my Clomid and hopefully that will stimulate them enough. The worst part about all this is that it probably won't happen until late September now since Dereck probably won't be able to get off work in August for the next cycle. Dereck is home now, off work 5 days early, so he wouldn't miss my ovulation and now its practically pointless. I guess there is a very small chance, but like I will even allow myself to believe that it could actually happen.

Why is this happening to us, I just don't understand. Why me and Dereck, why us? Why any of us blm's really? Haven't we been through enough? What did we do to deserve to get shit on like this? I am so tired of always being so stressed and depressed. I just want to be happy again.