Disappointed With My Body, Again

At my July follicle check appt #2, which I wrote about here, my Dr. had said I had a very little chance of getting pregnant that cycle and wouldn't be doing an IUI because my body didn't react to the Clomid and I probably wouldn't ovulate. She said there was a chance, a very small one, that we could get pregnant on our own though. I wrote about how angry I was at my body and why this was happening to me, to us. So I was pretty mad last month about that but didn't want to give up complete hope since there was a tiny chance we could get pregnant on our own.

Well Monday should've been period day 1, and it was not. It is now Wednesday and I still haven't gotten my period. I thought just maybe I actually got pregnant without the use of an IUI, so I took a pregnancy test. Of course I get a BFN! I should've known better, why would I be pregnant, this is exactly how my body was the 2 years ttc Liam. I either get a light period and don't ovulate or I don't get my period which then I won't ovulate. I am mad, angry, and depressed, again!

That means this month is a no go for us again, ugh! It sucks even more because last month Dereck got off work a week early to be here for my ovulation time, which didn't happen. Then he was supposed to be working for my ovulation time this month but I begged for him to please do whatever it takes to get off work so we can try this month, which he did, and now my body isn't gonna work, again. This just sucks! So 2 months in a row now of Dereck switching his work schedules around, inconveniencing his other coworkers, and for what. Its one thing I guess if we do the IUI and I don't get pregnant, would still be mad, but at least we'd get the chance to try.

I am just so mad at my body. Why, why, why????

I called my Dr. to figure out a new game plan since the one we had set up to double my Clomid dose won't be taking place this month. She isn't sure if I should get back on the pill to try and force a period and ovulation next month or just wait and see what happens. I have to call her back on Friday and let her know if I still haven't gotten my period and she will decide from there what the new plan is.

I am just so frustrated with my body right now. I was really hoping that since my body had been pregnant with Liam that it would function properly finally versus reverting back to its old nonovulating/no period ways. I was wrong.



Thanks everyone for all the comments on my last post. I wish I could say I was exaggerating, but that counselor really was a fricken nut job. I even thought for a second maybe I was just overreaacting at what she was saying to me, but you are all right she was crazy and definitely has never experienced any kind of signifigant loss or has any compassion for anyone who has. I will not be going back, nor will I recommend her to anyone EVER!