1 Month Or 4 Weeks And 6 Days

This is what is happening right now:

-My doctor called me back with the results of my second blood test today. She said my numbers are really high which makes her believe it is most likely a uterine pregnancy, thank god! She also told me congrats and not to worry because the stress isn't good.(easier said than done) I have my first appt. with her next Thursday. I will be almost 6 weeks then and excited to see my babies heartbeat.

-I'm still taking my prenatal, extra 3g of folic acid, and fish oil daily. I am also on some lovely prometrium pills that I have to insert in a place I never thought I'd have to insert a pill.

-I have been continuing to eat well, no junk food for this girl. I am still on my folic acid kick that I wrote about a few months back when I was first trying again. I am kind of getting sick of spinach and my total cereal but know they are full of folate and other nutrients that baby needs, and I am just really paranoid about that. I am also trying really hard to cut back on my caffeine/coffee addiction. The last month or so I have been only having one cup a day and am trying hard to have a cup only every other day now or go for decaf.

-I still have been pretty tired but that is okay with me as long as that baby is growing good. Never got sick with Liam and hope this baby takes it easy on me also. Although if it happens, I don't care, as long as this baby is healthy.

-Tonight is grief group and I have been considering telling everyone now or if we should just wait for awhile. Dereck wants to share the news tonight though, so I'm guessing we probably will. 

-I know first hand that pregnancy does not always guarantee a live healthy baby. I really want to shout it out to the world that I am pregnant again, but scared to tell everyone only to have to tell them later that my baby died, again. With Liam I waited until after the first trimester, the supposed miscarriage stage, but I know all to well now that you can lose a baby at anytime; 5 months, 9 months, the day after your due date, and many times with no explanation at all as to what happened. Part of me is scared to get to attached to this pregnancy also for the fear of losing it, but I also want to give this baby as much love as I can. I am trying to just breathe and relax because there isn't much I can do about anything right now but know it's going to be a crazy roller coaster of a ride.