Last night I had my Basic Life Support re-certification class. I first took this class when I went to school for Radiography because I needed it for my internships. I have gotten recertified every 2 years ever since. My job does not require me to have it but I feel like it is very valuable to know.
So where I was going with this is that my main concern for this class was to keep my cert. up, know what to do in case I am ever faced with a person who is choking or having cardiac arrest, and also to make sure I can save my families lives because I'll be damned if my child dies because I had no idea what to do. I have never actually had to give someone CPR or the Heimlich before and I hope I never have to, especially if it is on a baby, especially my own baby.
Now when I went into class last night all I kept thinking about was how the hell I was going to give rescue breaths to my mannequin when half my mouth doesn't work. Yes, I am going to mention my Bells' Palsy again because it is really getting in the way. I had to explain to my instructor about how I can't do the breaths properly because I have Bell's Palsy, and that is why you can't see the mannequins chest rise, not because I don't know what the hell I am doing. Ridiculous I tell you.
So that was my concern going into class. That was until we got to the point in the class where the instructor brought out the baby mannequins. Now I didn't cry or get super emotional, after all they are just mannequins, but as the instructor talked about performing CPR on babies and then us actually practicing on our babies all I could think about was Liam, that this is what Liam went through. Well sort of, he of course was in a hospital, with surgeons all around, getting intubated and using whatever else it took to try and get his heart started.
Also, today in the mail I finally heard back from my insurance company about my 2nd appeal letter for my flex spending account. I wrote back in June about how they denied my first appeal letter stating the same thing as they did when they originally denied the claim back in April. Both times they have said that I have 90 days from the start of a new year to get my paperwork submitted on time, and I missed it, and so it is denied. GRRR! I understand that but I have a really good reason that I missed the deadline! It is like they didn't even read my 2nd appeal letter because the denial letter was exactly the same as the last one, stating the exact same thing. GRRRR! I poured my heart and soul into that letter hoping for some sympathy, letting them know that my child died, and they didn't seem to care. It almost makes me more mad though that they even gave me the option to appeal it, because that got my hopes up thinking that there was a chance, when really there wasn't. Damn it!
I am so happy I have grief group tonight, I really need it!