8 Months

Sweet Liam,

I am a little behind on writing you since I went on vacation to Reno with some of dad's family; your great-grandma, 2 great-aunts, great uncle, and your uncle(dad's brother). I am back home now and want to tell you all about it. It was a nice getaway and I was so happy to get some sun, although I got a little bit too much. I thought a lot about how if you were here we would have had 4 generations vacationing together. I thought about you so much as always. I still feel like I can't go anywhere or do anything without wondering what it would be like if you were here. Would we have even been able to go on this trip?

The weekend started out kind of rocky for me as my eye was in so much pain. I even had to wear a patch on it on the plane so it wouldn't dry out more. Then on the second flight I got on flying into Reno I had the joy of having a father sit next to me on the plane with his baby in his lap. I had to just ask why, why me. The baby was a girl, which is better than if she were a boy, but it just made me wish you were there on my lap also. On the flight home then I had a baby sitting right behind me that would scream on and off the whole flight. I used to be that person that got so annoyed on flights when a baby would scream, not that its the parents or babies fault, but now I am just jealous on how it was my turn to be flying with my baby. I guess the good news is that seeing babies don't tend to cause me to breakdown anymore, its just all about jealousy now.

The first day there we went to Virginia city. We went into this historic church there that had tons of candle holders out where you could buy a candle, place it in the holder, and light it. This was the first time I had been in a church since February. One of your great-aunts asked if I had got one, which I hadn't, and so she gave me one to light. I felt like a bad Catholic girl because I didn't know what the candles were being lit for. She told me and as soon as she gave me the candle my eyes filled with tears for you. I decided to light one for you in the section with St. Anthony for something lost. Then after we left there I told her thank you for giving me the candle and how it made me feel to light that for you. She then told me that she had lit a candle for me also in the Hope section, that also made me tear up.

That first night we went down to the hotel pool. Your other great aunt asked me if you were to have been here if I would have had you in the pool with me. Darn right I would have. It is so nice when people bring you up. I guess that's why I love this side of your dad's family, they are all just so caring and supportive, and have so much love for you also.

On day 2 we went to Lake Tahoe. It was gorgeous there and I fell in love with its beauty instantly. I found a spot on the beach to write your name in the sand, although the waves were coming in so quickly that everything kept getting washed away before I could write your name better and get a good picture. I also wrote a message to dad since he couldn't make it on this trip. I had to include you both somehow.

So it has now been 8 months without you love. Where has the time gone? I just miss you and love you so much, but just know that even though time keeps going by, those are the two things that will never change.

I Love you Liam,
Mom