Ahhhh! I am so frustrated right now. When I was in the hospital after Liam had died I was told that we would not be able to receive a birth certificate because he never took a breath outside of me, even though he was technically alive outside of me for an hour and a half through CPR and being intubated. I always thought that seemed strange because you can clearly look at the timeline of when he was delivered to the time he was pronounced dead, but I figured the doctors new what they were talking about and this must just be a California law.
If you would have read a post I wrote a month ago you would have read that I was so happy to have heard that I could get a certificate of stillbirth, not a real certificate of birth but at least I would have something saying he was born. I had come to terms that he was just stillborn, but now after talking to a girl in grief group I learned that she was told she can get a birth certificate and her baby was clearly dead and delivered the next day through c-section. So frustrated now, why doesn't Liam get one.
I googled the definition of stillbirth and this is what it says- stillbirth means the fetus has died and there is no possiblity for resuscitation. How do you even consider Liam stillborn then if he was delivered and had CPR for an hour and a half, obviously they felt there was a possibility he could be resuscitated?
Not sure who I need to talk to about this but my Ob Dr.'s nurse agrees that this doesn't make any sense and that I need to talk to Vital Records. I hope I am not getting my hopes up here that I have chance at getting a birth certificate, but this would mean the world to me to have his life recognized that he really was alive, even if it was only and hour and a half. I wonder then if this all goes through would it be considered infant death then? Oh geez I can't wait till tomorrow when the Vital Records office open, I need to know now.
It would be lovely to have a birth certificate... I agree that Liam was born then passed away... and not really stillborn. It's these kind of things that make such a difference - sounds like it's worth looking into and if you know of someone who got one then there's a good chance. Thank you for your gorgeous comment on my blog. WIth you always xoxo
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for the comment you left over at my blog. Also I want to tell you how sorry I am that Liam is not here with you and I hope you are able to get a birth certificate like you want to. Hoping everything will go smoothly with Vital Records.
ReplyDeleteDo you have a certificate of death? If so, how can that be possible without first being issued a certificate of birth??
ReplyDeleteSteph you would think if you got a cert. of death you would also get a cert. of birth but that is not always the case. The Dr.'s are just trying to call it a fetal death-like he was never born, which you can clearly see from the point he was delivered to the time of death that he was. grrr
ReplyDeleteI have called vital records but they can't do anything and now trying to talk to my Dr.'s in Cali again and see if maybe they can change there mind because I guess its there decision on whether they want to call it a birth or just consider him a fetus
which I will add his records say both neonatal death and fetal demise, so which is it then, a newborn or a fetus?
ReplyDeletewow.. sorry that it's so muddled. It would be nice to have like you said, something on record with his name on it. Hopefully someone can get their head out of their butt (sorry!) long enough to help you out!!
ReplyDeleteI HATE the state records and their laws. Because River's birth & death statistics were issued to the state of WI so close together (6 days), when I requested a copy of this birth certificate, I received a birth certificate that has "DECEASED" stamped across it. I can't even look at this piece of paper and be happy about it. I had hoped to get the birth certificate and be able to look at it and remember one of the happiest days of my life. Nope, thanks to the lovely state of Wisconsin! I hope your situation gets worked out soon, and with good results! Thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteDeanna- I can't believe that they would stamp deceased on it, how horrible
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