For the Love of baby Liam

I felt pretty blah today, actually been feeling this way for weeks, and have been completely neglecting my dogs this past week. Tonight I actually made plans with 3 friends to get out for a 5+ mile hike on some pretty hilly terrain, which is good for me because I have been so lazy lately and really out of shape from what I used to be. About 2.5 miles into my walk I hear my dog yelp and immediately turn and look back at her and my poor Sadie's face is completely covered in porcupine quills. We tried yanking them out the best we could but she was not having it. We did manage to get a good chunk of them out but realized I just needed to take her to the pet ER.

This was after we pulled a bunch out. The roof of her mouth is full of quills also

So then I start stressing again thinking about how much its going to cost to have to get her sedated so the vet can take them out. I decided to go for a short walk and then played on my phone in the car for awhile but then just decided to sit inside till she was ready to leave. Figures with my luck tonight the place is packed and the only seat open is next to a carseat with a little baby boy in it. For the next 15 minutes until Sadie was ready to leave I got to hear the mom talk in cute little voices to her baby and in response he was just giggling up a storm. I wanted to barf:( So now I am sad about Sadie and now ready to cry having to listen to that boy make the cutest little gurgle sounds ever. Has anyone else ever wanted to just look at someone with there baby when they are playing with them and just tell them to stop making those sounds because they are driving you nuts, because that is exactly what I wanted to do?
I am now home with my dogs and feel horrible for Sadie. I also am in a really pissy mood now. I know its not the end of the world and things can be worse-I know- but I really wanted just to have a good night out hiking with some girlfriends.

Liam,
Mommy sat and listened to a little baby boy make some pretty cute gurgly sounds tonight. I feel like since losing you this is the first time I have heard a baby make any sound at all beyond crying, maybe I've always just been able to block it out before. I hate knowing that I will never get to see you smile and never hear your sweet giggle. I'll never get the chance to look at you and make goofy faces, find your ticklish spot, or blow on your belly in hopes it will get you to make cute baby gurgly sounds for me. I have pictures of you which I am so grateful for, but I have no memory of any kind of giggle or cry or any sound at all, just silence.
Mommy is just sad and missing you.
I love you little buddy.
Love always,
Mom