My amazing friend Brooke just got back from a couple of weeks in the Virgin Islands and while she was there she created this with a flashlight in the sand:
Grief group was tonight, but tonight wasn't like all of the other nights I have gone to though. These past 2 weeks since the last group meeting I have felt really good. Yes there was the breakdown I had with the NICU resulting in me needing to take a break from it and also a few other things that I will write about later, but overall I've been feeling pretty good. I know it is okay for me to have good days and perfectly normal to still have really bad days, but tonight I felt a little out of place. I wanted to share all about me and Dereck being in the process of ttc and how by the next group session I may(hopefully) or may not be pregnant. I have just been so excited for this time to finally be here, but it just didn't seem right. I barely said a word and normally I am really talkative and wishing I could just speak the entire time. I want to tell them all about it, especially if I do get pregnant again.
Would it be inappropriate of me to come out with that news to a room full of people that can either no longer have kids or who have recently lost there babies and/or aren't to the point of ttc again? I guess I am afraid they will think I am rubbing it in their faces if I tell them this wonderful news of mine. After all I still get that stabbed in the heart feeling when I hear that another person I know is pregnant or just had there perfect, healthy baby.
If you were at a child loss grief group and someone announced that they were pregnant again how would you feel? I could not tell them for awhile but eventually I am going to have to. Hmm......