Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Ready To Scream

I just want this nightmare to end. I just can't handle this anymore. Not only am I still trying to appeal the fetal surgery and getting nowhere with that, but now they are denying my claims I submitted for my flex spending account also. GRRRR! I just want to scream, hit something, cry, I am going crazy. My denial letter for that says that I missed the deadline for last year. Okay, I understand, I missed faxing it in by 6 days but seriously I am drowning in paperwork here and can hardly keep any of it straight. Not to mention how I can get documentation turned in on time when the dates of services are 12-28 and 12-29 and I don't even get the EOB's till 2 months later and then a month or so after that I finally get the itemized billing statements. Then to actually try to sort all this crap out so I submit the correct stuff so I don't get denied for missing documentation. I am so angry and so stressed out today. I have spent my morning writing an appeal letter and praying to God that they will reconsider there decision, after all this is our money we put into the account and geez, have a heart, my baby died, I am depressed, stressed, emotional/mentally drained, and like I said drowning in insurance crap trying to figure out what goes with what and where. Not to mention once I get this letter done and mailed, and go to see my grief counselor, I get to read my insurance manual and figure out what to do about my fetal surgery appeal since they have denied the hospitals appeal for the third time now. I don't know what else to do. AHHHHHHH!

On a much better note, thank God there are a few other postives in my life right now keeping me somewhat sane:

I recently have talked to another fetal surgery mom through email this past week. Talking to her and the other mom a few weeks earlier have meant so much to me. For awhile there I was living in such fear of a uterine rupture and now after talking to these other fetal surgery moms about there experiences and having had another child since then has calmed my anxiety so much. If either of you moms read this on my blog I just want you both to know how much this has meant to me that you took the time to talk to me about this. I can talk to the doctors about this but that doesn't even compare to the words of someone who has actually been through it. Thank you!

I also want to just mention I made it through another night in the NICU, my first official night by myself. I just love it! I got to hold two twin boys the other night at the same time. I just stared at them for the entire two hours watching them make cute little faces as they slept. I am so happy that I have managed to keep my emotions under control while I am there and hope I continue to have the strength to keep doing this. It is one of the most rewarding things I think I have ever done. When I leave I just feel so good. Not only am I helping these babies but it is very much so healing and helping me. I really hope Liam is proud of what I am doing.


  1. I'm sorry your insurance is being so difficult. I hope your appeal gets allowed and you're out of this mess.

    Great that you're doing the NICU stuff. It must be so surreal to be there, holding babies.

  2. Becky,
    Thanks for all your comments on my blog. I do appreciate them all. I can get kind of self-absorbed with all my thoughts sometimes and forget to mention my appreciation.

    I am glad you have been able to talk with other mommies who have been in a similar situation.

    Don't get me started on FSA accounts, I've been fighting with ours for almost a month. They want more documentation, etc, etc. Really? Can you just cut me some slack and reimburse me my money you are holding. The last info I sent to them they've had since 3/24 and it it waiting to be "reviewed". I hope they approve your appeal for you. Keeping fingers crossed.

    Hugs to you and have a good night.

  3. Becky i wish I could help you with the insurance stuff. I know thats rough. Is there any way the doctors would write an appeal as well? Or have they done that already. I'm glad you're enjoying your time in the NICU. Seems to be very healing for you!

  4. The aftermath of bills and insurance forms and such is so unfair after losing our babies. It's so cold and cruel. In the midst of our grief we somehow have to remember to fill out forms and get things in on time. I swear, don't people who work at insurance companies have any feelings??

  5. I'm so sorry you have to deal with insurance problems after all you've been through. Hopefully, they'll reconsider their decision after they read your letter. Praying for you...

    Oh, and I'm glad you're loving being in the NICU. It's so amazing what you are doing. I know that Liam is proud of you! *hugs*

  6. Its so cruel you have to deal with all this paperwork now I really wish they reconsider. You are such a brave girl, to be spending time in NICU at a time like this. I wish I could be as brave as you.

  7. Thanks everyone, the appeal letter is wrote for the FSA, so we will see how it goes

  8. I'm hoping/ praying that your appeal will work... Whoever had the gall to deny your claim is a shithead!
    I'm glad to hear the NICU is going well for you! I wish I could do something like that.. but I really just truly can't handle babies right now. I admire your strength and compassion!
    Anyway... I'm 100% sure Liam is smiling down at his Mama, and I'm sure he would be proud of what you are doing in his legacy.
    Sending love

  9. I sooo understand the insurance issue! I wrote a letter of hardship and called the financial office a billion times before they finally worked with me. There should be some magic rule that when you lose a child that we are exempt from paying! :*(

  10. The insurance stuff sounds so frustratingly awful. I hope they get it all straightened out and quickly. So glad being in the NICU is so positive for you. I'm impressed! I don't know if I could do that and keep it together.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...