Finally it is Friday. I was incredibly busy at work today and was pretty tired by the time I got off. I guess being busy was good though, it definitely kept my mind from the sadness I have been so overwhelmed with this week.
I went to meet a friend for a walk tonight and the sadness decided to make an appearance, again, and I cried the whole drive there and while I waited for her to show up. Normally I am so talkative and you can't get me to shut up, but not today, she talked mostly. The most I got out was just mainly how I can't stop crying this week. I am so overly annoyed with myself right now, as I even sit here and write this you'll never guess what I am doing. STOP CRYING!!!!
I even have tickets to go see Chelsea Handler tomorrow night. She is my favorite comedian, I just love her. I was so mad when Dereck and I were in Los Angeles last May, and we could've saw her show but we weren't able to make it, and now she is in Alaska and I have tickets and the desire to go is gone.
And since Dereck was going to be gone for Easter, and I didn't want to be alone, I had invited a whole bunch of friends to spend the day with me. The way my week has been going I feel like maybe it is a bad idea to have invited so many people over because no matter who or how many people come, there will still be someone missing.
My sweet Liam,
I miss you so much and you are always on my mind. I am having such a hard time. The days keep going by, but the pain is still so intense. My heart just hurts and I wonder if it'll ever feel better.
I love you baby boy