Liam's Funeral- 1/14/2011 & Burial- 5/16/2011

Liam's Funeral Jan. 14, 2011

This banner was made by a friend of Derecks Aunt. It is now hanging by our bed.

A few days after arriving back in Minnesota from California we had to start planning Liam's funeral. This had to be the second hardest week of my life. So much to do and I could hardly even think straight. I could barely even sleep at night, hated sleeping really, because then I would eventually have to wake up and face a new day without Liam, so needless to say I was very very tired. I had a very hard time trying to concentrate on the funeral preparations with all the crying I was doing, but so glad when I finally came around and was able to think a little more clearly. I wanted Liam's funeral to be perfect since there are very few things that I can still do for my baby. 
First thing we had to do was write the obituary, hardest thing ever, no family should ever have to write one for their child. One thing I will always remember from that day though is that I have never seen people wanting so badly to get there name in an obituary. We wanted it short and sweet and instead Liam's turned out really long, a whole columns worth. I guess that just means he had a lot of people that loved him.  We met with the Father also and he gave us some information on how the service will go and informed us we needed to write some prayers and also pick out the verses that will be read. We also had to pick out flowers. I had them planted in buckets so I could take them home afterward and continue planting flowers in them for Liam. I also picked out the large bamboo cross and had flowers placed on it. This same cross will be used at his burial also. 
We arrived at the funeral home as soon as Liam's coffin arrived and got to go spend some time with him. The autopsy was very hard on his body so we could not see him, instead they had his body in a bag. I wanted so badly to see his beautiful face again but I knew getting that autopsy would never allow me to do so. It might seem weird to some but I had to hold what was left of my baby, even if he was in a bag, I knew he was in there, and I needed to hold him. 
Dereck and I had gotten a few things together to place in his coffin with him. We printed off some pictures of Alaska and me hiking with the dogs and also placed in one of our only two family pictures that we have from the hospital after he was born. We also placed in two red roses to signify Dereck and my love for him and one white rose for him which I read meant innocence. We also got an outfit for him that we placed his bag in that said "Mommy's Little Man" and then wrapped him in a swaddle. A friend had given us a little knit hat and we placed that with him also. When we were in the hospital the friend we had stayed with the week prior to surgery had brought us a stuffed dog and some chocolates. We decided that Liam needed to have the dog with him so that also got placed with him. My mom then laid in her dad's baby ring for him. His coffin was quite full of stuff. I then sat and talked to him for awhile, well mostly cried, and once more people arrived and the funeral was about to start the lid was placed on and his vault was closed permanently.
We had a women sing at his funeral and she had the most beautiful voice. She sang Hail Mary Gentle Woman and also Peace is Flowing. The funeral was beautiful and I couldn't believe how many people came and how many flowers showed up. The majority of these flowers were from our Alaskan friends, they truly are like family. People talked after word for awhile in the lobby but I stayed the majority of time in by Liam, I didn't want to leave his side.

These are from Liam's prayer service. On top of these being read by the Father and family, I read the "What Makes A Mother" poem for him and a few family members said some nice words also.
I really hope Liam loved it.
Prayers of the Faithful:

For Liam and all of the children who could not stay, that their parents and all who mourn find peace and comfort. We ask this through Christ our Lord
    Lord hear our prayer
For Becky and Dereck to find strength in their love for each other and guidance through their faith in the Lord. We ask this through Christ our Lord.
    Lord hear our prayer
For Liam as he joins his family in heaven and continues to receive warmth and love. We ask this through Christ our Lord.
    Lord hear our prayer
For our traveling family who has come to share this time with us, that they will be comforted and return to their homes safely. We ask this through Christ our Lord.
    Lord hear our prayer
For all of us assembled here to worship in faith, that we may be gathered together again in God’s kingdom. We ask this through Christ our Lord.
    Lord hear our prayer
Wisdom 4:7-15 
A Reading from the Book of Wisdom
The just man, though he die early,
      shall be at rest.
For the age that is honorable comes not
      with the passing of time,
      nor can it be measured in terms of years.
Rather, understanding is the hoary crown for men,
      and an unsullied life, the attainment of old age.
He who pleased God was loved;
      he who lived among sinners was transported-
Snatched away, lest wickedness pervert his mind
      or deceit beguile his soul;
For the witchery of paltry things obscures what is right
      and the whirl of desire transforms the innocent mind.
Having become perfect for a short while,
      he reached the fullness of a long career;
      for his soul was pleasing to the Lord,
      therefore he sped him out of the midst of wickedness.
But the people saw and did not understand,
      nor did they take this into account.
The word of the Lord
Matthew 11:25-30 

 At that time Jesus answered, "I give praise to you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, for although you have hidden these things from the wise and the learned you have revealed them to the childlike.
 Yes, Father, such has been your gracious will.
All things have been handed over to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son wishes to reveal him.
 "Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for your selves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light."
 The Gospel of the Lord

Liam's Burial May 16, 2011

Liam My Love   I couldn't handle nothing being on his grave so I had to add a few things.
Liam's burial was short and sweet which is what we wanted since we already had the funeral back in January. I was happy that we had such wonderful weather, the sky was clear, sunny, and there was a light breeze. Both the banner and the cross looked wonderful and I was happy we had something to set out by his grave during the service.

We had the same girl who sang at Liam's funeral come back and she sang the song "You are mine" for the burial. I thought it was so sweet of her to come out and sing for us again. We even heard that she had never done that for anyone before other than for her grandfather, so I was very touched that she did this for us and for Liam.

After the service was over Dereck set Liam's coffin into the hole and we covered it in rose petals and laid a few other flowers over his casket. The rest of the family then left, but I wanted to stay and watch it get covered. It was amazing that by the time it was covered with the sod you could barely tell a coffin had just been buried there.

The same bamboo cross from the funeral with fresh flowers. 

We didn't like that the sign with his name on it to mark his grave didn't have a picture of him so we added some to it. And the angel statue is from Liam's Grandma.

It was over a week and a half later since I had laid those sticks on Liam's grave and was excited to see that they were still there! Liam's Grandma brought the bouquet of flowers and a good friend of mine laid the flowers around his grave for Memorial Weekend.

Liam's gravestone finally finished, set, and all decorated up for Memorial Weekend one year after he was buried.


  1. Dear friend ~ Thank you for sharing your story and your beautiful life with blog world. I have been deeply touched ~ I am adding your button to my blog.....thank you, so heart is greatly, alice

  2. I apologize, I thought you had a button, but I could not find it....but you will be in my thoughts and prayers ~ much love, alice

  3. So beautiful. Is he buried right above someone?

    1. yes, he is buried on top of my husbands father.

  4. i gave birth twice and i lost them too. the first one happened on 2007, he had a hydrocephalus and i didn't get a chance to see him or to hold him because I was at the recovery room when he passed away (i gave birth via cs section). and then the second one happened just recently. i gave birth to a baby boy again via cs section last july 29 2014 and he passed away aug 12 2014 due to acute respiratory distress syndrome. losing a child really hurts. actually, i don't want to get some sleep at night because i don't like the feeling of waking up without him, no more breastfeeding, or changing diapers, and anything i usually do with my child. its not easy. i wish all of these things were just a dream and i pray for someone to wake me up from this awful dream

  5. i want to have a child again but i'm afraid that i might lose it again.


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