Sunday, August 26, 2012

Walk to Remember

Last Saturday on August 18, 2012 Dereck and I went to the Walk to Remember. We went last year and now again this year. This year should've been so different, as with everything that should be, but isn't. I wish my daughter could've been there, walking with me, and crying with me as we remember Liam. This year we wrote messages on balloons for both our babies. Last year was hard, and this year even harder. I still find myself struggling to not be jealous of others, who are obviously there because they also have experienced child loss, but just hate that many of them all have at least one child with them, whereas I still don't. I started crying from the point we showed up at the hospital. I was crying so much that I could barely write on my balloons because they were getting so wet with tears. I cried while writing a message in the book to be read to our loved babies. Bawled my eyes out as the messages were read and as we released our balloons. I love you my babies.

19 comments:

  1. I am crying for you......please try to keep going....please. You will be such a great Mom when your forever baby finally arrives. This is so unfair that you have to continue to wait.....keep going. Hugs.

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  2. You deserve to have arms full of your little ones, and you are a very loving
    Mama! I hope the next Walk to Remember is very different for you all!

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  3. Oh it is too unfair. I'm so sorry. Thinking of your babies and wishing for your arms to be full very soon <3

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  4. Far too many balloons in that sky. So much love for babies who are so very missed.

    Wishing things were (are) so different for all of your family

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  5. always thinking of you and your precious children

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  6. There are no other words but I'm sorry. Sending you lots of love and strength.

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  7. I'm so sorry. Both of your losses are still so fresh and I would be worried if you didn't cry your eyes out. Sending you big ((hugs)) and prayers...

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  8. Gah, I cannot imagine how hard that was. Can't believe you are going through this again. Still unbelievable.

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  9. I love them too and I know I didn't know them. ((hugs))

    How did your surrogate's RE meeting go?

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  10. I have hope that one day you will be there with your living child in tow. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other...

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  11. I am crying for you. My heart is just so broken that you do not have your babies here. I love the messages on the balloons, Liam and Evelynn have such wonderful parents. Much love to you always.

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  12. You guys are so brave. The photo of all those blue and pink balloons in the sky brought tears to my eyes. So much loss. Hugs x

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  13. I came across your blog via other babyloss blogs and I've been reading part of your story. I'm so sorry about the loss of your babies. They are both so, so beautiful. I'm so sorry that you have to endure this horrible heartbreak, and I am even more sorry that you have to endure it twice.

    Sending love and a big hug through the computer
    xoxoxo

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  14. I think of you, Liam and Evelynn often. Sending so much love and so much hope Becky. x

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  17. Your love for both of your children is so obvious. Thinking of you, and hoping so much for brighter days ahead. Always thinking of your beautiful babies. Always.

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  18. I don't know you or even know anyone who knows you...but I was actually looking up the name Liam and found your blog. My heart goes out to you...I pray that you and your husband will be blessed with a healthy baby with wonderful traits from Liam and Evelynn. I am a new mom who lost my own father when my son was 6 weeks old and every day I am with him, I miss my dad. I just can't imagine your pain and suffering. Please know that I will keep you in my prayers.

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