Monday, August 12, 2013

Our Carrier is Pregnant- 32 Weeks/8 Months

What a way to start August out. I am so incredibly excited and sooooo nervous. Jessica informed me on August 1rst that we are now going to do the induction on September 30th. You know what that means? That means no matter what my little Max will be here by the end of next month. Hearing that made my day and made a great start to August. I always wondered how the due date ended up the way it did, being Oct. 11th, because our RE gave us what he said the due date should be, and it was different. Well I guess Jessica's Ob was going off of the date that he got from one of the u/s's. Well, he decided I guess that since he knows how anxious we are to meet Max that he would change the due date to the date of when we did our IVF stuff, which makes it October 6th. So that means that since we are going to induce at 39 weeks, Max will be here on September 30th at the latest! Woot woot! For the record though, I am still hoping he makes a break for it at 37 weeks. So very, very, very cautiously head over heels excited!

I had been waiting to buy my plane ticket for some reason or another, but when I heard this news I got on it right away. I will now be back a few days before we hit 36 weeks, versus right before 35 weeks. So much to do before I leave. The goal is to have the entire nursery done, the vehicle cleaned so we can get the car seat in for when we get back to AK with him, the house cleaned up, packed, and the big one of getting our Pre-Birth Order taken care of before I get on the plane. That last one is the big one since we need to ensure that if Jessica goes into Labor early that our names go on Max's birth paperwork, not hers. I spoke to our lawyer about this the other day and he says he is going to get the affidavit ready so we can get this taken care of asap.

A few days ago Jessica had her hospital tour. I will be doing one with her when I get into town as well. She said that we will for sure be getting our own room until Max is discharged from the hospital. I will also be getting setup with a lactation consultant to help me. We will also have to use the on call pediatrician since ours is here in Alaska. Dereck and I need to discuss vaccines, circumcision, etc. It's crazy to be at this point having to think about these sort of things again. All I know is it would be nice to actually have a delivery that goes as planned, since that has never happened with us.

Also if anyone has any suggestions please help me figure out what I need to bring back to MN/ND with me for Max. I have absolutely no idea what a newborn needs, especially once he leaves the hospital and we will be living out of a suitcase for at least a week. I own almost everything a baby needs so I hate to have to buy more stuff if I know I already have it. I know I need all my pumping stuff, cloth diapers and accessories, baby clothes and swaddles-how many should I bring and what sizes? (NB or 0-3 months?), and my k'tan. I think on the plane I'll carry him in the k'tan or do others think it would be easier to bring and use my ergo instead? I am most likely going to borrow a infant car seat from a friend in MN so that ours is already installed in our vehicle for when we get back home. What else do I need for a newborn to make it at least week living out of a suitcase, driving around, and flying?

I have briefly talked to Jessica about getting some maternity type photos done. Derecks sister in law is a photographer and said she would be willing to take some for us. This is something I have never done in any of my pregnancies but have seen some awesome intended parent/gestational carrier photos on other surrogacy blogs and pinterest. Anyone have any good ideas for pics of Jessica and I to take together? Jessica said she also has a coworker/friend that does some photography work that would be willing to take these pictures for us, some of Max's birth if her Ob Dr is okay with her in the delivery room with all of us, and then of course get some good newborn pictures of him and all of us after. Eeeek! It's so crazy that we are thinking about all of this already! It is getting so close. Only 3.5 weeks until I leave, 5 weeks until we reach 37 weeks, and 7 more until induction day! Let the crazy begin.

Jessica is still using the ear buds I sent her for Max so he can learn my voice. I also just mailed Jessica a box of freshly caught Alaskan silver salmon and halibut. I love that they like fish and knowing that my little guys is going to get all those awesome Omega 3's and the DHA from that salmon.

I talked to my blm friend Caroline the other week and she sent me an email back with this verse from this Green Day song, "Wake Me Up When September Ends."

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when September ends

She looked up the meaning of the song and found this:

This is a song of wisdom and acceptance. "Drenched in my pain again, becoming who we are" - the realization of the fact that everything we go through, all the pain and losses, all the hardships we meet along the way are meant to make us stronger and shape our personalities. In the video for this song we see a young couple that gets separated by the circumstances. This shows the director's view of the song: we should treasure our loved ones and never take them for granted, because they can be taken away from us any moment.

Pretty fitting, you think?

Operation Bring Milk Back for Max:

At the end of August I decided I was done trying to go the natural route and needed to look into the Domperidone again. Through the help of Jessica, she found a list of various compounding pharmacies throughout the country that would make it for us. I don't know how I never thought of looking out of state. It was so much cheaper at all of the lower 48 compounding pharmacies, versus the $400 a week here in Anchorage. The place I found that was the cheapest and would ship to Alaska was out of Wisconsin. It was approx. $30 a week-I think that's what it was. I swear we get ripped off here in Alaska. I told my Pediatrician and his wife, who I mentioned has been helping me with this, about these prices and they sent in a Rx right away. They are also paying for this medication for us. So if any of you out there were thinking it was dumb that we were going to pay $400, well now you know we weren't going to be the ones paying for it, just didn't feel that was anyone's business. I did however feel bad having them pay that much so that's why I looked into other options. They are doing this for us for 2 reasons: the first being that they insisted on wanting to help us and know this is all financially a lot and second because they just started their own lactation clinic in their office and have never worked with domperidone before. The nurse has done Reglan before because her and her husband, the Pediatrician, have adopted a couple of babies and she wanted to breastfeed them. So I am more less their guinea pig to find out all the ins and out of how this med works.

I started taking the Domperidone on August 5th. I started taking about 10mg 3 times a day for the first 3 days. Then I went up to 2 of the 10mg pills 3 times a day. I will be on this until I am finished taking it. By the second day I was feeling pretty flushed in the face and warm like I was coming down with something. No other symptoms that I noticed. By the second day I could also already tell a significant increase in my milk production. I still pump about 5-6 times a day and still having a pretty hard time getting up at night but am doing the best I can. I usually pump about 10-15 minutes each time and when I am finished I do a hand massage and try to work out as much milk as possible. Hopefully soon I will be able to get milk out with the pump but like that I am getting a fair amount out with the hand massages. It'd be nice if I could start getting enough to save, but making progress everyday. I love this med!

Also, I have a really good pump but my pediatricians wife gave me a hospital grade pump to use. I really love and appreciate how much they have tried to help me with this. I can't wait to have Max here so he can meet this amazing couple. Oh and if Max is born on September 30th he will even have the same birthday as the Pediatrician. Kind of cool.

That's all for now- off to pump again!


  1. Domperidone is regularly used here in Canada I used it with my ds. I wonder if it would be hard to get an rx for a pharmacy here. Just a thought.

    1. Well as long as is this pharmacy makes it and will ship it to me I should be fine, but definitely an option.

  2. Awwww, I am very excited for you! Your pediatrician letting you use a hospital grade pump is awesome! With regards to baby stuff you need to bring I think the bare minimum will do. Newborns don't need too much to make them happy! Just a warm outfit and a boob will do! good luck and I look forward to pic of your little Max!

  3. I just want to give your ped and his wife a big fat hug. What wonderful people.

    Eek! So close! I saw you pinned some cute gestational carrier/mom pictures on pinterest - that is such a wonderful idea.

    I would suggest only bringing disposable newborn diapers and not cloth mostly because you'd want to wait to put him in cloth until he's flushed out all the icky merconium (sp?) poops and just has breastmilk/formula poops and because it'd be a pain to try to wash them when you're not at home. Also, I've heard that a lot of babies don't fit cloth diapers well until they've chunked up a little bit. Just food for thought. And you could just buy disposable there instead of them taking up room in your suitcase. I would say bring newborn clothes. Especially if Max is born even just a week or two (but hopefully three!) weeks early. I bet he will fit them just fine. Finn wore newborn for 5 weeks. I know every baby is different, but I doubt Max will come out at 10 pounder :) Will laugh if he does though!

    Other than that - what does he need? You, Dereck, some boob, and lots of love. Most of those he's already got :) What a lucky guy - can't WAIT for the end of September!

  4. My boys were 7 lb 4 oz and 6 lb 5 oz and wore newborn (and preemie) sizes the first month. I would bring only a very few 0-3 month items, they were huge on our kids that early.

  5. I would suggest the newborn sizes; bring some pacifiers just in case; and bring disposable diapers. I know you want to cloth diaper, but that's really hard with newborns, and it's got to be a million times harder when you're traveling.

  6. It's always nice to hear an update from you about baby Max. :)

    September is like... soon. But not soon enough, I know! But to be able to say next month and hope this is really your take-home baby, gosh. Crossing my fingers like crazy.

    I can't act like I knew what the hell I was doing with Benjamin as a newborn, so I don't have a lot to offer. I sure hope your milk is in and plentiful and otherwise... he's in great shape. :)

    On the milk thought, I was reminded that when giving birth, it typically takes a bit to have milk come in and if the meds work to bring that milk back, you might have quite the abundance compared to what normally would occur if you were birthing and then your body was releasing the hormone to initiate milk production. You're doing so many great things. It's hard for me not to believe that when Max arrives and you put him to your breast that he won't induce the milk himself, you know? I know you mentioned expelling some just after seeing ultrasound footage before. I feel like having him near you will really speed things along. Again, not sure, just hoping. :)

  7. 32 weeks seems so incredible. And knowing he'll be here by the end of next month? So amazing.

    This paed. and his wife sound wonderful- I'm so glad you have them supporting you the way they are. And to pay for your medication... Some people are just too lovely. :)

    As for what to bring, everyone else covered it. I'd bring those pants with the built-in feet if you have any (like the layettes) and maybe a few hats since it might be chilly at the end of Sept. And those swaddle blankets.

    You got this momma. So thrilled for you. :)

  8. So thrilled and excited for you. Praying and hoping for the best. I know that you were asking questions about the flight. I am sure that you know that the best, safest way for him to fly home would be in his car seat in his own seat. I know this isn't always feasible though. The great thing about infant car seats though, is that you can install the base in the car, and then carry the bucket, so you can have the base installed, and just snap him in when you get home. And with a newborn you would have to be super careful that you could get enough recline on the seat. About wearing the baby, I think it is awesome that it is something you are considering. I think that is an awesome resource for all questions related to BWing. I don't know if you have an infant insert for the Ergo, but either way, I think that the Ktan is probably your best bet for bringing little Max home. Just remember that they will not let you use it for take off/landing, or any other time that the seatbelt sign is lit.

    So excited to hear about your relactating progress.

    Regarding what to pack, I think that I agree that I would go with sposies until the meconium period has passed, or at least until you get him home. I wouldn't want to deal with cloth diapers on an airplane. Otherwise, in theory I agree with the paci suggestion, but it is hard to know which one (if any) he would prefer. With my son, I went through every brand on the market before he finally settled on the Nuks. I would just bring lots of onesies and footsie pjs (the kind with the snaps down the front, wht ones with the snaps in the back are so hard to maneuver, even if they are super cute). Swaddle blankets is another good suggestion.

  9. This is all so wonderful and exciting! You really won't need too much... diapers, wipes, blankets, plenty of onesies, and whatever you need for feeding. Anything you think you might need you can always buy at a store. I would consider a soft wrap like your k'tan over the ergo. Just so much easier on an airplane.

    As far as circumcision... I have three boys and that is something you may want to really, really do some research and soul searching on. Make no mistake... it's a painful procedure and not all hospitals will offer pain relief during and/or after the procedure. And traveling and caring for a fresh circ site will not be a picnic. If circumcision is what you ultimately decide is right for your son, I would strongly suggest you wait until you're home and have it done by someone local to you. Circumcision is a surgical procedure and carries with it all the same risks as any other surgery... including infection and death. Those outcomes are rare, but I have been reading your blog long enough to know that you have been struck by lightening twice and don't feel any safer just because a bad outcome is statistically rare. Approximately 117 boys (or 1 out of 77) dies every year in the US due to complications from their circumcision. Since you also want to breastfeed, I would again suggest holding off on a circumcision until that is well established. The best position for successful breastfeeding is holding the baby tummy to tummy. However, that position can be very painful for a newly circumcised baby boy. If you wait for breastfeeding to be established than you can adjust position and not have as many problems with latching on. It will also be a source of comfort rather than frustration once the procedure is over.

    I am certainly not trying to tell you what to do, or making any kinds of judgements. Just trying to point out some things that might not necessarily factor in to other new families but may be more of an impact for you and your new son and might be worth considering.

  10. How very exciting for you guys. It seems like this pregnancy has gone by quickly and I'm sure you're feeling a mix of emotions as the big day nears. As far as newborn stuff: I would bring newborn sized items. A few onesies, and I always loved the light zip-up or snap up sleepers that cover the feet, they were easy and I know Target sells them in 3-packs and I would buy two 3-packs in each size so if the baby pees/spits up, they can be easily changed out. Great for travel as you know their feet and hands are covered. If the sleepers dont have fold-over hand covers, little cotton mittens are very nice too! If you need to, you can layer a onesie underneath in case its chilly outside or in the airport. Also an aden&anais swaddler is a good idea. I would also have to agree with a previous poster on disposable diapers during travel and the first several days. We traveled with Avery while she was still little and babies find a way to have the messiest, leakiest diapers at the most inconvenient times (ie: planes!).

    For carriers, I think your ktan will work since you will be travelling with him when he's so small, the ergo (or beco for us) was great when she was a little older. Also, I'm not sure if you know this but his carseat and stroller are both checked for free. We were so excited when we learned we didn't have to check those items.

    You're so close, I've been thinking about you a lot and of course hoping and praying for the best.

  11. Such a great update. I have everything crossed for you Becky.

    I used a soft wrap with Leif until he was about 5 months and then I switched to the Ergo. I'd suggest lots of onesies, wipes and disposable diapers to start. I really don't have much advise to offer but i'm sending so much hope and love your way.

    I asked my husband about photos (he's a photographer) and he's never seen any parent/gestational carrier maternity shots. I can't wait to see your photos if you decide to post them. I have no doubt they will be beautiful and amazing memories of your truly amazing journey.

  12. I am so excited for you guys :)

  13. Hurray!!!!!! I'm still here in the background rooting for you and your beautiful family! I hope this next month FLIES by! The shirts with the wider necks are the best wish newborns... it's so hard to pull a regular t-shirt neck over their tiny little heads... I'm wracking my brain for any travel advice, and not coming up with anything that hasn't been mentioned!
    Sending love your way!

  14. Yeah..the circumcision thing..I don't have boys, but I did research circumcision when I was pregnant, and was honestly disgusted at what I found. There are youtube videos of the procedure, that made me literally sick..I cant un-watch it, nor un-hear the baby's screams. It was horrible. Regardless of what I was told, it is most definitely NOT necessary at all. The risk of UTI's are MUCH higher in little girls than in little boys. I urge you to research, drmomma is good, and so is thewholenetwork. 80% of the world is intact and have no problems. I personally could never let any of my babies go through that. It is a cosmetic surgery. only 1 out of 16,700/approx, need to be circumcised later in life. That number is much lower than the cases of death and botched circumcisions. really do some research into that subject!!!

    but anyway, I am SO GLAD that you are finally getting your baby!! I hope he brings so much light to your world! (im sure he will) I have been reading your blogs for a while and i KNOW you will be a WONDERFUL Mommy <3

  15. Dear Becky,

    i found your blog today. i am so excited for you. my husband and i just prayed for you, your husband and your little Max - that he is healthy, safe, strong, protected, and grows up to be your miracle and your champion. Amen!

    i pray you have more than enough breastmilk for him -hugs- you're right, domperidone is a fantastic breastmilk maker! i'm sure you'll have more than enough milk for Max!

    look forward to seeing pictures of your precious rainbow Max! may the Lord bless you and your family

    much love from Singapore


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