Friday, September 23, 2011

6 Weeks

When I made my first appt/ u/s with my Ob dr. I knew I was scheduling it on the early side. The nurse even informed me that there was a chance that we might not even be able to see the heartbeat yet. I really wanted to see my baby though so I took the chance. Well yesterday was that appt and the nurse was correct, we were just a few days too early to detect the heartbeat. I kind of want to kick myself for scheduling so early knowing that chance, but I really needed this appt just to know anything I could about the status of my little one.

Today I am 6 weeks and yesterday at the appt. the yolk sac was measuring at about 5 weeks and a few days. Dr. said everything is growing right on schedule though which I was happy to hear. After the u/s we spent the remainder of the appt with her answering the gazillion and a half questions that I had.

You see I am a little paranoid as hell right now about everything. She has answered the majority of the questions I asked probably 5 times already between last pregnancy and again when I first started ttc again, but I needed to hear it one more time. Let's see, I was already pretty sure I had listeria-yes I am that paranoid. Dr. had to inform on just how low the risk is and that she has never seen anyone at her office get it. I had to once again double check on the safety of my face creams, make sure I am taking all of the proper vitamins, and how long I needed to stay on the prometrium for-which is until at least week 12. I also asked about getting the flu shot. I didn't get it with Liam because normally I never get sick and when I did get the shot 2 years in a row, both times right after I got sick. She said she always get sick when she gets it also but says she would still highly recommend me getting it because if I get the flu then I can't get on any of the meds to help me get better since I'm pregnant. I guess I'll get it then. I also asked about exercise policies again. I was very active with Liam. I jogged, cross country skied, hiked, and lifted weights. I haven't been too active this year but want to stay as active as I can. I know its still early in my pregnancy but the idea of a uterine rupture still scares the shit out of me, not to mention I am also a huge klutz which always worries me. I even once again brought up MTHFR to my dr. because it has been brought to my attention a few times in the past and it was once again brought to my attention by the fetal surgery babyloss mom I recently got in contact with. My Ob doesn't know to much about that but is going to ask one of the perinatologists about it and get back to me.

So I didn't get to hear the heartbeat but was happy to get all my questions answered. I know she knows that I am being super paranoid about everything, I know I am also, but she is really sweet and says she understands my reasoning for asking since I have gone through so much. The next appt. would normally be in 4 weeks but since the heartbeat was not there yet, and I need to hear that heartbeat, I am going back in 2 weeks. And you know for as nervous as I am, I actually feel pretty optimistic. I never thought I could feel that way at all this pregnancy and hear I am.

I had planned on writing all about that appt. as soon as I had gotten home from it. Once I got home though I was so exhausted that I laid around doing nothing all day and then finally gave in and went to bed early. In the past week since I had last wrote about this pregnancy I hadn't been feeling as tired as I did right at the beginning. It kind of worried me. Up until this appt tiredness was all I really had for symptoms and I feel like I needed something to let me know that I was still pregnant. It's not that I want to be nauseated or throwing up, but those are pretty good indicators that your still pregnant.

I also just want to add that:

I hope I don't offend anyone by writing about this pregnancy on my blog. This is part of my story and I want to keep it all together. I will continue to write about Liam also because he is my baby boy and I love and miss him dearly, but I would also like to write about his baby brother/sister, my rainbow, here also. I know I went through phases on and off this past year with reading blogs of babyloss moms that were pregnant again. Many times reading them gave me hope for the future that I would be pregnant again and finally get to bring a baby home. Other times I couldn't look at them at all because I was sad that I wasn't pregnant yet and wanted to be. That being said I also knew that they had once felt the same things that I was feeling, it's just hard.

I have told a select few family members and some of my closest friends about this pregnancy. I also know some other friends and family have read about it on my blog because they have sent me messages pertaining to it. I would appreciate it if anyone reads this they would please not share anything on Facebook or share the news with everyone they see.

I also just want to say how happy I am to see a few other babyloss mommas that got pregnant this month with me. I know of about 7 now. They all deserve this so much and I am so excited to have others to share this crazy, scary next step of the journey with.


  1. Your pregnancy is inspirational. I hope for my own sake I get pregnant too because am my husband and I are really bored of this lonely baby-less life.. but lets see how things turn out for us. wish you all the very best for this baby.

  2. I'm glad you got to see your baby, but I'm sorry it was a little too early to hear the heartbeat. I understand the anxiety completely, but I hope you're able to enjoy this pregnancy. I'm glad you get to go back in two weeks to hear your precious baby's heartbeat. It's so relieving to hear that little heartbeat each time you go in. I'm praying for you and your little one!! I can't wait for you to post an ultrasound pic in a couple of weeks! :) Congratulations!

    Oh, and it is very exciting about all the BLMs that have announced their rainbow pregnancies in the past couple of months! I love that we all get to follow and support each other during our journeys for our rainbow babies :)

  3. You write whatever you feel. I am very happy for you and it gives hope. Its an exciting journey and I love to hear about it.

  4. I am so excited for you! I know about all of my struggles with MTHFR and I have gone to a specialist for it since before I got pregnant and it was treated very early on. Let me know if you have any questions...I'm not a doctor by any means but I can tell you what they had me do and you can ask about it. Again, Congrats!!!!

  5. I love that you write about your pregnancy on your blog... reading rainbow bub stories is an inspiration to me :) Sorry that it was too early to see a heartbeat... I wanted to book my scan in as early as possible too... great that you only have to wait 2 weeks now. Thinking of you every step of the way xoxo

  6. I am so happy and hopeful for you. I don't know how often I'll check in since I should be 16 weeks pregnant and am not, but I will occasionally because I want to know that everything is OK.


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