Today 4 years ago is fetal surgery day. More importantly it's Liam's birthday. Four years seems so long ago. So much has happened, seems like a lifetimes worth, not 4 years. So many empty years leaves me with just wondering about the type of boy he'd be today. Having Max now I am getting to see what it's like to watch a child, a son, of mine grow up, but I still wonder how similar or different they'd be from one another. Would he be into cars or superheroes? And school. Would he be in preschool now and by next fall getting ready for kindergarten? Oh and I bet Christmas and birthdays would be just exciting for a 4 year old. Bluhhh......
Today I was looking at old pictures from my childhood. Pictures of me camping with my family, playing with friends, and pictures of me just being silly with the dogs and my sister at home. The common thing in all these pictures I see is how happy I am and how I miss those days of life being so easy. I've always loved these years, that age range from like 3 through about 8-10. I love their imagination. How I miss my imagination and can't wait to see Max fully use it to be anything and do anything he wants. Max isn't fully their yet but Liam would be, and I can only imagine how awesome it'd be. Gahh, do I ever hate that I will never get to see all my kids play together or get any of those happy, at home or camping, goofy, just being kids photos together, ever.
Today and always I am missing you little buddy. I miss all that you would be as crazy little 4 year old boy. Love you forever.
Missing and loving him with youReplyDelete
Missing your sweet Liam with you. xxReplyDelete
((Hugs)) Happy Angel Birthday Liam <3 <3 <3 <3ReplyDelete
I am so sorry that you have to go through this roller coaster of emotions. I think I will feel the same way and have the same reflections when I have living children to parent.ReplyDelete
Well, Happy Birthday sweet love. I sure wish you were here. That day that was supposed to provide hope for your parents ended up being your birthday. I wish it was a celebrating-with-cake kind of birthday. xo Missing you, Liam.ReplyDelete