Friday, July 8, 2011

One Year Ago And So Much Has Changed

I wrote a blog post awhile back about my BabyBump iphone app. and how I will never erase it from my phone because it has all of Liam's info stored in it. Yesterday I went ahead and downloaded a new baby app for the my next pregnancy because I am anxious and wanted to see what the estimated due date would be if I am actually pregnant. I would have loved to use the same app but don't see anyway I could use the same one without losing Liam's data, so a different one will have to do.
In case anyone is curious I bought the ipregnancy app. I haven't played around with it much yet but hope I will like it. Anyone else use this app? and did you like it?
Before I bought that app I had opened up my Babybump app and thought I'd look and see what date was entered into it that gave me Liam's EDD of April 12th. To calculate the EDD all I had to do was just to enter in the day of my last period. Well yesterday when I looked at it, it was July 7, and the date I had put in my EDD calculator just so happened to also be July 7th.
It's so hard to believe that here I am almost a year later hoping and praying, just like last year, that I will finally be pregnant. The dates of course are not the same, thank god for that, but they are close and if I am pregnant from my recent IUI the EDD's will be approximately a month apart.
Things aren't completely the same as they were last year though. Last year my main concern was ttc since we had already been trying for a couple of years with no luck. I was very naive about pregnancy then. This year though I have already been pregnant and had a baby who had a birth defect and also did not survive. Instead of taking care of him I spend numerous hours a week blogging about how things should have been, how I am coping with his lose, and of course what and how I am doing now that I am trying to get pregnant again. It amazes me on how much my perespective on pregnancy and life in general have completely changed in just one year.
I would have never thought I'd become a blogger or spend so much of my time reading other blogs. I still don't consider myself a writer, but have been doing a lot of it this year. I started a journal shortly after Liam passed away in January and by February 9th I started this blog and wrote my first post. This is the blog I wish I never had to feel the need to start, and 5 months later here I am still typing away. I will continue to write about Liam, and probably my journey through the next pregnancy, because I know this place is a place in which I know he will never be forgotten.


  1. I didn't think I would ever be a blogger, either, but here I am! I started Lily's blog in September 2008 so I'm almost 3 years in...and, still writing my heart out. It's helped immensely...

    I can't wait to find out if the IUI worked! Prayers and ((hugs))

  2. sending you prayers, hoping there's good news soon! I didn't think I could ever feel closer to people I've never met than people IRL, but here we are! you are right, Liam will never be forgotten. many hugs to you!!!!

  3. I didnt even know what a blog was before this happened. Waiting to find out too. Well Wishes

  4. keeping everything crossed for you!

  5. I often reflect about this time last year in my life and it's impossible to believe am here now. Lots of luck to you.

    You definitely deserve a positive test this month.

  6. I have found so much comfort in blogging and connecting with other BLMs, too. It is not something that any of us ever had envisioned for our lives but I am glad that we have each other and that we have this safe place where our sweet babies will always be remembered.

    Thinking of you and wishing and hoping that this is your month and that IUI worked! <3


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