Tuesday, August 23, 2011

There Is A Chance And A Letter To The Counselor

Yup, that's right, there is a chance that I could get pregnant this month. My Dr. said that my body responded well to the double dose of Clomid and I had a whole bunch of follicles. She thinks that a couple of them should be big enough before Dereck leaves on Friday morning. I am so happy, we have a chance and a game plan set. Thursday night I will be giving myself the HCG injection and then we will get it on, on Friday morning before Dereck leaves. So hopefully if I ovulate early on Thursday, or later, by Saturday we should be covered. We are also not going to do an IUI. My Dr. says she really thinks that the Clomid and inj. will be enough. I sure hope she's right. So I am crossing my fingers that they continue to grow. I know it is still no guarantee that we will end up pregnant but I am happy that we at least have the chance to try.
Of course now I will not be making my friends wedding in Michigan. I hope she understands. I really want to be there for her but that this is so important to me.

I finally got around to writing a letter to that counselor I had seen a few weeks ago. You remember that post about that appt., don't you? The lady who thought I should just say goodbye to Liam and move on. I wish I would have had the nerve to tell her off right there that day in her office, but I didn't. I also don't have it in me to tell her over the phone, but after talking to my grief group coordinator I decided to write her a letter. I could have just let this go but I feel she really needs to know how much she hurt me. It has now been 2 1/2 weeks since that horrible visit and it still irritates me that a counselor (Dr. of Psychology) could be such a heartless bitch. I tried not to be mean in the letter or tell her how to do her job, but I did tell her that I don't think she considered my feelings at all when it came to those stupid scenarios she gave me. I told her that I had wanted someone to talk to about Liam and will never just put him and his life in the past. I also mentioned how I should've never had to leave a counselors office, who is suppose to help me, bawling my eyes out and made to feel that my thoughts about my son were irrational. It was a fairly long letter and at the end I informed her that I will never be making another appt. nor will I ever refer her to anyone, ever.


  1. Woo! That's great news. I guess the double dose is for you... despite how un-fun that must be.

    Here's to nice follicles and babymaking!

  2. I am so happy that you are writing her a letter. At the very least hopefully no other person will have to go through what you did.

    Have fun on Friday! Glad the timing worked out!

  3. I knew there was good news coming for you!

    Im glad you were able to get out what you wanted to say to her, even if it is nicer than she deserves!

  4. Yay! Good luck this month and good for you to write that letter!

  5. I am glad you did tell her, maybe in the future with soemone else she will get a clue. Glad to hear the good news. Hope it happens this month, but if not you are definatley making progress with this clomid double dose and thats good news; it will happen.Sending fertility wishes :)

  6. Yay for the double dose working!!! I'll keep my fingers crossed you're lucky this month! :)

  7. good luck this month! and i'm so glad that you decided to write a letter to that counselor defending your grief and your son. good for you!!

  8. That's awesome about the follicles! Good luck this week :) Keeping my fingers crossed for you!

    I'm glad you wrote that counselor a letter because she needed to know how she made you feel. Maybe she will learn to be a better counselor in the future to other babyloss parents.

    Anyways, thinking of you <3

  9. Oooo, I am hoping for you this month!!!
    We are going for a natural iui...hope we both get blessed this month....it's about time for us!!!
    Gooo Becky! (meaning you :) )
    Hugs Becky


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