I really have been in a great mood since hearing that heartbeat. Hearing that really did take a lot of my paranoia, stress, and worry away. This past week though the tiredness and nausea has really set in, but I say bring it on if that means my baby is still growing.
Another blm mentioned on her blog yesterday about how there are so many of us babyloss moms all due within weeks of each other. She mentioned how one of them already has had a miscarriage and as much as she doesn't want anything to happen to her baby she doesn't want anything to happen to anyone else's either. It seems as if everytime I hear another blm is pregnant those same thoughts run through my mind and I have talked to Dereck about that many times. The idea of being left behind again while everyone around me seems to have living healthy babies scares the crap out of me. I don't want to have it happen to me or to anyone else neither. I would like to believe that as a blm you are now immune to having another babyloss, but I know that is not true. I know it can happen anytime whether it be another stillbirth, miscarriage or even SIDS.
The reason I bring this up today is because I talked with a girl from my grief group yesterday. She was about two weeks ahead of me with her pregnancy. She asked how I was doing, which of course I responded with great because I just heard my babies heartbeat the other day. I then asked her how she was doing, but her news wasn't so great, horrible actually. She went on to inform that she has not been doing well because she has been in and out of the ER because on Friday she had a miscarriage.
Now today as I was trying to get caught up on blog posts I read that another babyloss mom just lost her rainbow baby today at 27 weeks and 5 days along. She already had lost her twins earlier this year and now this.
It just really isn't fair that this had to happen to them or to anyone.
I wish that we could be immune to any further loss after losing one... but somehow the universe doesn't always see it that way :( I'm so happy for you and even though we were due around the same time, knowing that you are all going along well brings joy and hope to my heart that one day I will be there too :)) Love to you always xoxo
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad that you've been happy since hearing the heartbeat...I know how exciting it is.
ReplyDeleteI agree. I wish we could all be immune to anymore losses. The second time around hurts just as much as the first time(I know). My heart really breaks for the fellow BLM that you posted about who lost her rainbow. I read her story, and I can't imagine what she's going through :( I'm praying for her and for all the other BLM's who have lost their rainbows.
I'm also praying that your pregnancy continues to go well. I am so excited for you! :)
It's all so terrifying, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteI feel so badly for that lady who has now lost 3 babies inside this year. :(
Seeing the HB really helps, I think its good to see the little guy/girl in there with that pumping heart. I wish I was as happy about the nausea as you. While I did find it comforting at first, it got so bad and I got so dehydrated that I just prayed to get through it and into the 11 week mark when I normally get less sick.
ReplyDeleteI'm also kinda scared about how many ladies are preg right now but I have a good feeling about it. I don't know, I guess because it seemed like everyone was getting pregnant so near to each other it had to be fate or something. I hope I'm right because I care so much for all of my BLM friends and they all deserve their rainbow babies SO MUCH!
It's totally unfair, scary, and just so hard. We should totally be immune but unfortunately that is not the way things work. When I first saw Claudia's posts about her rainbow my heart broke.
ReplyDeleteI have so much fear about my current pregnancy but I try to remind myself to enjoy every moment that we have with him. We're doing all we can with our medical care and the rest is in God's hands.
Praying for you and your little rainbow.....xoxo
I hear ya about the paranoia, I of course am still struggling with the fertility part and yet still worry about finally getting that far and losing it. I visited Claudia's blog and was so heartbroken by her story.
ReplyDeleteOne day at a time my friend and I am sure before you know it your baby will be here.
ReplyDelete"Mindfulness is the aware, balanced acceptance of the present experience.
It isn't more complicated that that.
It is opening to or receiving the present moment, pleasant or unpleasant, just as it is,
without either clinging to it or rejecting it."
xxx