9 Weeks

According to my pregnancy app. today my baby is now considered a fetus! Yay!

As I have said many times already and will say it again that I do have lots of excitement for this pregnancy, this baby. I know its still early but I just have been itching to do things and buy things for this baby already. I was the same with Liam also. So this week I decided to buy the infant sling for my Chariot. I am still just so excited to use that thing. I just keep telling myself that next summer it will finally get used, next summer.

So the excitement I had after hearing the heartbeat is still there, its just not quite like it was. I have had a lot of paranoia return, especially since I got a nasty cold this past weekend. Having this cold on top of already being tired and nauseous really wiped me out, but I was too paranoid too want to take anything for it. That's even after my dr. told me what I could take.

I decided on Monday that the paranoia and stress are really no good for my baby and maybe I needed to make an appt. with a counselor again. I was scared to see someone new after the last incident I had with that witch of a counselor though.

I had loved the counselor I saw after Liam first passed, but then after only a few months of seeing her she left the state. She said she was planning on returning sometime this fall, but wasn't quite sure when. I decided to call that counselors office just to see if they knew when she was coming back. I was so grateful when I was told she had just returned and that they could get me in the next day.

I went and saw her then on Tuesday morning and it went really well. As of right now I am also scheduled every Tuesday until the end of the year and I probably need to stick with it. Just talking to someone, even friends, really helps to lower my anxiety, which is what I need, for my babies sake at least.

Part of this paranoia is because I still can't seem to drop the idea that I have listeria. I had to call my dr.s office again on Monday because I was freaking about it. First there are things I am not supposed to consume because I am pregnant, then there was the canteloupe outbreak, and then now there was a romaine outbreak, and the romaine came from Alaska, ahhhh! I'm pretty sure I have eaten both of those items in the past month or so. I just keep getting told that I'm fine and that the chances are so slim, but I have been on the bad side of statistics, slim means theres a chance. Plus, one mother has already miscarriaged because of the romaine incident. So damn right I am freaking out about that.

I really, really, really, hope this counseling helps.