February 4, 2013- up to 694
February 8, 2013- up to 3153
February 8, 2013- up to 3153
February 12, 2013- up to 9428, followed by our first pregnancy scare. Jessica texted me early this Tuesday morning to let me know that she had some spotting. I know some bleeding in early pregnancy is fine, but it made me super nervous. Our first u/s wasn't supposed to be until the 14th, but had one that day to see what was going on. Apparently it is a subchorionic hemorrhage. I was told not to worry and that this is quite common, but how could you not with a name like that, and this is me we're talking about. We weren't quite 6 weeks at the time of this u/s, but surprinsgly they were already able to see the flickering little heartbeat. That made for one happy, reassured for the moment, momma.
February 21, 2013- Jessica had her ob dr. do a quick u/s just to make sure their was still a heartbeat. It is great having a carrier who is both a nurse and works for her Ob dr. Still a heartbeat, whew! I hate waiting and we still aren't far enough long for her to use my doppler, which I just mailed to her yesterday. I can't wait until she can start using it, but that won't be until the end of the first trimester.
February 27, 2013- Today we are 8 weeks or 2 months pregnant. I am nervous to say the least. I live in fear everyday of getting that text or call from Jessica that we lost the baby. It has only been about a month since we've been back home and getting back into our normal routine of things. Although I wouldn't say anything about being back home has been normal. To get through the days lately I have dived into all things pinterest and getting back into shape. I may already be doing some premature nesting as well, which I suppose is a good, positive thing. I am pretty sure Dereck is sick of hearing about pinterest. I have been making a bunch of the recipes, no that he complains about the cooking. I love all of the ideas Pinterest has given me for our house. We may just have a completely remodeled house by the time the baby comes. I would even go as far as to say the reason I haven't been on my blog much has more to do with me being so preoccupied with projects than anything else, but it keeps my mind busy, which is what I need.
I have been stressing about money a lot lately as well. These pinterest projects are great, especially all the ideas on remodeling my house, but sadly they all cost money. I hate to complain about money, but I sure do hate that having a baby has costed us so much, and it seems like the bills are never ending. The money that was raised in the fundraiser is long gone. I am glad we had it though because it really helped us get through the last couple months. I have added up the totals we have spent so far and have now spent over $27,000 on this process, and it isn't over yet. If this all works out I don't care how much money we spent and how broke we will be for the next how many years, but what worries me is what we would do if this baby doesn't make it. Could we even afford to do this again, especially since we didn't get lucky enough to have extra embryos in the freezer. I hate thinking about this, but it's hard not to when so many make it look so easy to have a baby- no IVF, easy pregnancy, no c-section or other fancy surgery, no funerals, no worries.
But Jessica is still great. I couldn't have asked for a better person/friend to do this for us.
Now to just get through the next, oh what do we have, 32 weeks until the due date.
So glad that little heartbeat is flickering away. Lots and lots of love and hope to you all during this stressful (and hopeful) time.ReplyDelete
SO happy to hear of a heartbeat!ReplyDelete
Oh Becky, such wonderful news! I know its been a long, and expensive process, but it will be so worth it once the baby arrives! Continued prayers for you all!ReplyDelete
Good news... keep ticking right along, time. Love and hope to you guys. Keep on growing, little baby. Safe and sound. Please, please, please.ReplyDelete
So glad to hear baby is still doing well. So much love to you momma. Hoping the next six months pass quickly!!!ReplyDelete
Those are the hardest questions to ask yourself aren't they? I remember asking myself something similar while I was pregnant with Kaia. What do I do if this doesn't work? What will life be like? How am I going to make it through? Would I EVER consider another pregnancy? Would it even be possible? It was very very scary and very very depressing. I have no advice, just hope that your baby arrives safe and sound in 32 weeks time!ReplyDelete
So happy that she is pregnant and everything is going well. When I was pregnant with Emily, I often thought about what we would do if she died. It's awful that you are so familiar with babyloss. I hope next year at this time, you are holding your baby in your arms.ReplyDelete
I had a subchronic hemorrhage at 6 weeks too! Scared the day lights out of me. Mine went away at my 12 week scan and I am now 23 weeks :)I still think of all the what if's as well. Its so hard not to!ReplyDelete
I've been waiting to see an update. I'm so glad the baby has a heartbeat. I can only imagine how much stress you are feeling, but I'm glad you found some projects to somewhat distract you. Hoping everything continues to go well with the pregnancy <3ReplyDelete
So happy for you Becky! Hoping the rest is smooth sailing!ReplyDelete
I love that she can get extra u/s like that! Things sound like they are going great. I have such high hopes for this! I love that you're nesting already :)ReplyDelete
The most uplifting news I've heard in a while. I'll be holding you all close for the next few months, wishing like crazy for the happiest of endings to it all.ReplyDelete
I can just imagine the kind of anxiety you must be feeling. I'm hoping so hard that time passes quickly for you.ReplyDelete
Pinterest is an amazing distraction, isn't it? I redecorated my entire house in the year after Eliza died. Lots of paint and DIY projects. It felt like a relief to lie in bed at night and think about paint colors instead of just crying myself to sleep all the time.
I hate that having a baby is so easy for so many people and has become such a financial burden for you. I know it has to be difficult not to dwell on the what-ifs and worst case scenarios (I would be the same way). Taking it day by day, breath by breath is the only way you can make it. Fingers crossed that this time you guys catch a freaking break.
So glad to see that things still look good and you can cross off a few more weeks...grow baby grow!ReplyDelete
And I'm so sorry about the financial burden this has placed on your family. We also had to face some huge bills as a result of Elizabeth's health care, and we're still dealing with the fallout from that, and it just makes me feel like our health care system is so. broken. It's just so wrong that heartache also brings financial worries to compound it.
Sending love and hope for your new little one!ReplyDelete
Hi, I just found your blog and I am in awe of you and all that you have been through. I am one who did not have to try hard too have my beautiful miracles but your story helps me to appreciate all that I had. I too had a sub chorionic hemorrhage and spotting. It scared the crap out of me but was gone at my next sono. The body absorbs it. Dr google had me freaked. I hope everything goes as it should, you so deserve a healthy baby.ReplyDelete
What great news, I will keep sending you lots of love and praying like crazy that this has the happiest ending (or beginning rather) ever!ReplyDelete