Friday, April 22, 2011

There Will Still Be Someone Missing

Finally it is Friday. I was incredibly busy at work today and was pretty tired by the time I got off. I guess being busy was good though, it definitely kept my mind from the sadness I have been so overwhelmed with this week.
I went to meet a friend for a walk tonight and the sadness decided to make an appearance, again, and I cried the whole drive there and while I waited for her to show up. Normally I am so talkative and you can't get me to shut up, but not today, she talked mostly. The most I got out was just mainly how I can't stop crying this week. I am so overly annoyed with myself right now, as I even sit here and write this you'll never guess what I am doing.  STOP CRYING!!!!
I even have tickets to go see Chelsea Handler tomorrow night. She is my favorite comedian, I just love her. I was so mad when Dereck and I were in Los Angeles last May, and we could've saw her show but we weren't able to make it, and now she is in Alaska and I have tickets and the desire to go is gone.

And since Dereck was going to be gone for Easter, and I didn't want to be alone, I had invited a whole bunch of friends to spend the day with me. The way my week has been going I feel like maybe it is a bad idea to have invited so many people over because no matter who or how many people come, there will still be someone missing.

My sweet Liam,
I miss you so much and you are always on my mind. I am having such a hard time. The days keep going by, but the pain is still so intense. My heart just hurts and I wonder if it'll ever feel better.
I love you baby boy


  1. Thinking of you and Liam over this Easter.. it sucks doesn't it! I'm having a hard time today too.

  2. Love to you and Liam over Easter... thought of you both when we visited Gabrielle yesterday. Hope your Easter is peaceful xoxo

  3. Lots of shared tears. Sending you love and remembering Liam with you~


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