Saturday, March 19, 2011


Last night was one of those unforgettable great nights, at least that's how I feel about it. Two things happened last night that has still got me smiling and in a great mood even after the lack of sleep I had last night.

First off I got a text from a friend last night. We have never been really close and actually had met because Dereck works with her boyfriend on the slope. They have 2 little ones together and we have only really gotten together a handful of times in the past few years. I guess you could say we just don't have a lot in common. She texted me last night saying that she had really wanted to ask me something but wasn't sure how to go about it. I told her she can ask me anything and she went on to telling me that her and her boyfriend have been having a hard time coming up with finding godparents for their kids. She said that they feel there families are really unstable and most of there friends are in Wisconsin and have never even met their kids. She said mine and Derecks names have came up a couple of times and her exact words were "That we both think you are prime examples of great parents. You would do anything to make sure your children are well taken care of" and went on to say that we are the only ones they can agree on and if we would consider it.
I wanted to drive over and give her a hug right there, I have never been more touched or honored in my life. I told her I would need to talk to Dereck about it and then we could all get together and talk discuss it further. She then said she is an avid reader of my blog and that's what made her really want to ask me. I have never felt more honored in my entire life. I think I repeated that to her about 20 more times and about how much hearing that meant to me and it absolutely made my night.
I have enjoyed reading everyone's blogs and it has been great to know that I am not alone on this journey. They have helped me in so many ways and I always hoped my story could help others in a similar way. Recently though I have heard from many friends who have read/heard my story, but have never experienced this kind of loss, just how much more it has made them really love and appreciate there children.

Then my amazing friend Brooke, who has just been awesome through everything, has been telling me forever that if I ever need to talk or having a hard night just to call her and she will listen no matter the time or even just come over and sleep the on the couch so I don't have to be alone when Dereck's gone. It's been hard for me to want to just sit and talk about all this with friends because when I am with them I want to be happy and have a good time, not sit and dwell on my situation with them- I do that enough at home or with Dereck.
She invited me to dinner last night and while we were there she asked about my conversation with my Dr. the other day. I went on to explain to her everything we had discussed and my feelings toward the dreaded 6 month wait. The service at the restaurant was rather slow but it allowed me to finish my story about my conversation with the Dr. and then also told her about how honored I was to hear about the godparent topic above. I had never told Brooke this till this night that I wanted her and our friends Liz and Kevin to be godparents to Liam. I don't always feel godparents should be family, my family is my family but Brooke, Liz, and Kevin new more about Liam then anyone and they expressed many times about how they were so excited for his arrival and are still here for us through our loss.
After we left there we decided to just go back to her place and hang out. Now I am not a huge drinker, nothing really against drinking just not fond of the taste of most of it, but my friend has said how she enjoys a glass of scotch on occasion and its a great drink to just sit around and sip on and talk. I decided sure why not and 3 hours and a couple of shots worth later we were still talking. The liquor might have helped me a little in my ability to just share everything, but it felt so nice to just let it all out. We also shared some crazy other stories about our past, but what a great night and an even more terrific friend. Thanks Brooke I really needed that.


  1. sooo happy you had a good night, and I think from the way you've written about and to Liam.. you would make awesome Godparents! What a wonderful honor!!

  2. How lovely to be asked to be godparents in such a special way... a sign of how wonderful parents you'll be too xoxo


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